The Outsider

     Have you thought about your shorthand? When we spend a lot of time with the people we choose and love, we have a short hand with how we interact with one another. It is the privilege and the consequence of time spent with the same people. We know the same jokes, the same stories, and we use the same jargon(shorthand). In my house we know that dinner is made and eaten at the same time every night regardless of who cooks it, even though dad is sometimes a bit later than mom. About once a week Molly and I decide to take a night to break from cooking a meal to eat down leftovers, or nuke something for dinner. This one or two nights a week are what we call "fend for yourselves night". I don't remember exactly when we labeled leftovers night this, because we would just say we were eating leftovers growing up and didn't label that night anything. We don't have take out nights at our house even though rarely we will do take-out. We don't label an evening take-out night, but we always have a "fend for yourselves night" which has been chiseled down to FFYN on our calendar. If you don't live with us you might think we spar for our food Hunger Games style that night, or forage for food outside like in Cast Away. Neither of those is true, so it may not be the most accurate descriptor for what we will do on a Friday night, but its what WE call it. I have been thinking this morning on the shorthand we use at the church. I have heard it most commonly called Christianese. We have phrases and words we use that if you spend your whole life in the church are at least recognizable, but if you are new might as well be in a different language. 

    How long will a person sit in on a conversation that is confusing or at least one that they othered by or on the outside of? If you ponder that think about how long you would watch a british movie with heavy accents. What if we took away the subtitles? What if we added a different language to the mix. How many of us would be truly captivated by a foreign film with no subtitles or action? I think that about 90% of any would audience would be lost pretty much immediately. What if watching that film was the only way to Jesus? What if church, felt more like traveling abroad than it did coming home. I've been thinking about the brave souls that enter through our doors that encounter a tribe that are friendly, but not always adept at communicating their customs. Why Sunday. and why Sunday School. How come we sit silently through the first organ song but leave during the last one? Why do we pass the plate. How much do we give, if we don't give, is that okay? Why do we pray different prayers and recite the same one at the end of the service. Why is everyone 15 minutes late to all events? Why does everyone talk about hearing from God, and when do I get my Walkie Talkie? If the learning curve is steep, is it really conducive to a welcoming environment. If we all know how Phyllis or Dave is, then how are our new folks ever going to meet folks on their own terms and make their own relationships in our Church Family? 

    Honestly, there are more questions than answers in this article. But I would like to propose a thought experiment to y'all. It is the alien visits thought experiment. If an alien were to visit our church, what would he see? If he didn't understand our language or customs what conclusions could he draw from being inside the church physically, but as far outside its relatable experiences as possible? Does it see an equitable environment, or a hierarchy? Will it encounter a happy people, or a bored people? What do you think it will think of communion? Every first Sunday they have tiny snacks. Will they see worship, or a quiet concert? Will the alien see a family of people, a loose confederation of people, or a social club? I am sure the alien would have more to teach us about our culture from the outside than we can really learn from the inside. The messages we send are more than in our language and verbal shorthand, we also have behavioral shorthand, like when to stand or sit. When its okay to joke, or when its time to be serious. Or when its okay to form a second line at pot luck Sundays or when only one line is appropriate. I always personally believe in two lines, because I like food and dislike barriers to food, not unlike long lines.

    So this month, take some time after the alien thought experiment to consider the outsider. The out of towner, the atheist, the outcast, and think about the ways you keep the trough of grace open or closed to them. In what ways do you have to give up your spot to open up room for others to join and drink? Think about what it takes to feel a part of our family and who helps them find their place. Are you that person? If so, who might they face, that would be a barrier to their belonging. How do we deal with that? How do we deal with them if they bring in bad habits or bad behavior, if their fit with us isn't quite so easy? I don't have all the answers for our church in this, but would simply like you the church to consider this month, the outsider.