Grace for the Sheep, in the Time of Wolves

     I've been listening to the Rise and Fall of Mars Hill podcast by Christianity Today. It is the rise and fall of not only a significant church in our culture, but also the rise and fall of a genuinely polarizing figure, Mark Driscoll. I am amazed to hear some of the things said and written in 2014 through my 2021 head phones. I am remembering how I felt back then and how differently I feel now. I can see how his tough male bravado mixed with a promise of authentic Christianity rang strongly in the ears of his flock. If I had been older, in a different spot in life, I could see myself being swept up in something like that. I will not delude myself into thinking, that I would somehow be stronger than such a strong personality. Stonger than the accusing voice in the room that will not be denied, stronger than the chorus of yeses and amens. I believe a different set of circumstances could have led me to different places that seem somewhat unthinkable as I couch them in my comfy office. 

    In this article I do not want to talk about judgement or God's sovereignty, both of which cannot be denied in spiritual abuse situations. I would like to muse and think on God's grace for those caught up in the tide and whether our grace reflects that or not. A mentor of mine put narcissists in a very simple category from me to understand, they are people that need to be the heroes of everyone's' story and if they will not be the hero, then they will settle on being the victim. Since learning about that I have been witness to a narcissist, and watched them operate on a relational level, and watched the layer fall off until they resort to the hero or victim. I cannot say as to whether I handled the situation correctly or not, but I know that in the face of such a simple and dual personality, I did not really know how to proceed on a number of fronts. My go to was always to appeal to a persons better nature, being patient to peel back the layers until we could find them and it shocked me to encounter nothing beneath the hero, victim narrative so brash in its existence, that it Gaslighted in order to breath and see the light of day.

    At the time I was fortunate to have many in power and responsibility that had perspective, enough to ask me to deal with it, but to not attribute my success or failure based on the narcissists results. There was life before and after the narcissist and this was mostly due to their wisdom in not putting them in charge of me. If they had been, however I am not sure exactly how the story would have gone, but after that experience, I know how it would go now. Often times we hear about the followers of dangerous leaders and dangerous ideas/theologies and think quite self importantly that this could never happen to me.I would never fall for that, or of course the second they did that to me I would be out, but there is a problem with this idea. We are on the whole followers. We are built for followship, not leadership. Leadership is a calling and for some is a predisposition, but we function best under the direct influence of another. The bible constantly refers to us, compares us to, and relates to us, as sheep. I remember growing up with my mom who subscribed to a few conspiracy sites and the blasting critique of those not in on the conspiracy was that they were sheep. Even though those reading the influence of one or two men, suddenly had contempt for those who were unaware of or indifferent to that website or radio show.

    Rare is the person who is actually self directed. More common is a person who is the sum of their influences and interactions. Common is the person who feels self directed, blissfully unaware or blind to their crucible. Their is a moment that post cult ministers describe when a persons brain reboots and begins to think for itself again. That moment is not enlightenment, it is usually post enlightenment when the world was simpler couched in terms set by the strong man, by the narcissist. The New Testament constantly teaches on the danger of false teachers, false prophets, and false teaching. Jesus warned his followers about the leaven of the pharisees which made them wholly dependent on their teachers rather than on God. The pharisees believed that they were the only ones who knew enough to interpret the Law unknowable by the sinners they stooped to teach and preach to. Many times Jesus simple acknowledged that the people he encountered knew what they were supposed to do after His encounter with them, how else would He be audacious enough to say to them, go and sin no more. Jesus had a high, but also realistic view of people, certainly higher than many false teachers that seek to become important to the people that they minister to, rather than seeking to gather God's flock and make Jesus important to them.

    We are hardwired to follow. Let us follow Jesus. If we go down the wrong path and choose the wrong people, let us go back to God and receive His grace. As followers of Jesus let us be sharply aware of our influences, but be ready to accept those stolen by the enemy, lured out of the pen with the same grace given to us, when we followed the world out in the wild. And as always move forward with the attitude that was suggested by my former boss, "But for the Grace of God, go I."