Gone

     I am about to embark on a five day youth camp after a quick turn around from taking the kids on a 9 day mission trip. The calendar is always kinder when we are a few months out, but is sterner the closer we get to time. That may be due to my general inexperience with life or that I am still young enough to overestimate myself on a regular basis. OR it may be general pride that says I can handle that. But as I move forward I am finding out something different. When I was young and single being gone was an adventure. The only one there to miss you is your apartment and the road was always calling me. Now I feel the pull of what happens when I am gone. 

    It is an interesting feeling being missed, but it is a whole other level when it is your wife and child missing you. You don't feel the miles, but you really feel the days. Leaving is tough, but coming back is awesome! Just thinking about it reminds me of the beginning of the movie Love Actually. It begins at an airport in the reception area with a voice over discussing the idea of love while watching its manifesting presence in several heartfelt reunions. This is something I have had many opportunities to watch while waiting for students to disembark from their return flights from visits home. They are not always super dramatic, but the smiles and hugs are genuine. It really is a privilege to witness those moments in person.

     I grew up with two homes. I grew used to the idea of being gone and really only hated one part of the experience and that was saying goodbye especially when there were tears, mostly my tears. I felt small rips from my heart every time I was left or had to leave. Life was going to be different for a while at my mom's or dad's and no amount of conversation was able to help me skip that adjustment. Sometimes I noticed that there would be more fights and hurt feelings before a goodbye, the hearts small effort to ease the sting of absence. Nothing ever really does heal the sting of absence, especially when the person doesn't even have to leave the room to be absent. I believe that our need for positive presence is a key part of how God made us. I believe that this is why God makes a point to constantly remind us of his presence, even and maybe especially when we are "gone." 

    John 15:5 talks about an abiding presence between Us and Jesus. This abiding is shown through the metaphor of vines and branches. The branches do not survive on their own, apart, or separate from the vine. The branches need connection, the vine wants connection and nothing quite facilitates connection like positive presence. Think about this for a moment. There is such a thing as negative presence and negative absence, but in terms of pouring into a relationship positive absence is not really a part of the deal. There may come a time where absence in needed to change negative presence to positive presence, but the time spent being gone is not a deposit into relationships, it is time spent that is not returned. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 Paul ends his letter with a general look at God and Christ's desire for our relationship with Him, "¹⁶ Rejoice always. ¹⁷ Pray continually. ¹⁸ Give thanks in every situation because this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." (CEB) Pray continually, not take a break, go fishing, take a trial separation. He is willing to go all in with us, all He needs is for us to go all in for Him. 

    Are you gone? When did you go? Did you stay in church and retreat in your heart? God is waiting in the terminal, all you have to do is get off the plane and meet him. God didn't leave, its just that when you walk away, its easy to forget that the benefits of the relationship do not follow you. Just like you don't get to just be married after the divorce is finalized and moving back in is awkward. Many of us are reading bible passages wondering why we don't exhibit the fruit of a relationship we just don't have with God. Some things only come with the abiding and lots of prayer. What better time to start than today, just turn around. He will be immeasurably happy to have you again.